Blessed are the flexible....

Hi! My name is Emily Wurmnest and I am a CONTROL FREAK! I am absolutely OCD about many things and have to work really hard to "let it go." I don't know where it comes from (although I have an inkling) but it is defiantly getting worse the older I get. 

Today I was cleaning out the guestroom/office basically purging everything that wasn't a necessity. As I was going through old papers, scrapbook supplies, fabric scraps, etc. a piece of lined notebook paper fell out onto my foot. In my handwriting I had written one simple sentence..."Blessed are the flexible - for they will not be bent out of shape." Not sure when or why I had written this phrase down - may have been from a Bible study I was working through or a Pinterest quote I liked. Either way it was exactly what I needed to see today. 

As we get closer to the holidays my OCD has been kicked into high gear because I crave the perfect Christmas that you see in the movies and read about in books. This past weekend I hosted my small group girls for a "Favorite Things" party. Everyone was supposed to bring a gift that cost $6 or less for each girl in attendance. It was supposed to be something that was one of their "favorite things." After getting the treats all made, house picked up, etc. I decided not to vacuum that day because I had already done it two days prior. This decision may seem easy to some but for me it took me several hours to commit to that decision. Of course my friends and I all had a great time enjoying each others conversations, stories, and gifts - even without a freshly vacuumed carpet! 

So where does this OCD come from? Why this constant need for control in my life? I think it honestly goes back to when my mom was sick while I was growing up. I had no control over her heart problems and couldn't prevent her from going to the hospital which was often. Her heart problems didn't take a holiday or care that it was my first piano recital. Her heart problems didn't care that I was only in 2nd grade when my mom went into sun cardiac death changing out lives forever. Her heart problems didn't care that it took her life when I was 17 years old on the last day of my junior year. I had no control over this circumstance but I knew I could try to control some of the variables in my life... starting after she died. 

In college I tried to control my love life which ended in making stupid decisions and eventually in heartbreak. After college I tried to control my future which I could do to some extent but ultimately learned that God had a plan and I needed to trust and follow that plan. After getting married I tried to control the plan for children which ended in several failed attempts to get pregnant but eventually led to the adoption of our son, leading up to the birth of our daughter. (God definitely had the control on that one --- not my plan but His!) After having kids I should really give up trying to have control because it is evident every day that I will not have control with two preschoolers in the house.... it's IMPOSSIBLE! 

So here I am.... in the midst of a crazy holiday season.... trying to gain some control. However it is in those moments when I am flexible and just enjoy the Christmas season that I will not get bent of shape! I can relax and create lasting memories with my family instead of having them remember the Christmas's where "Mommy lost it." I need to remember to breathe and let God have control! Who will be in control of your Christmas season? Will you learn to be flexible or will you continue to try to regain control only to "lose it" in the end??

Home for the Holidays

I couldn't wait any longer.... the anticipation was too great....I needed some Christmas cheer and I needed it now! After trying to hold out as long as possible, last weekend my family put up the Christmas tree and all of the home decor that entails. Yes, I am one of "those people" who can't wait until the day after Thanksgiving to begin the Christmas season. This year I was especially anxious to get started because of how much hatred and unkindness has been sneaking its way into my life via social media and the news. I was ready for some holiday cheer! 

My main goal during the Christmas season is to make my home warm and cozy to all who visit. I want them to feel like they are "home for Christmas." There is always a bountiful variety of hot chocolate, cider, and holiday flavored coffees for friends and family to warm themselves with. After next weekend there will be Christmas cookies in the freezer to set out for guests after my in-laws and I have our Christmas cookie baking day (blog coming on this later). Our gas fireplace is at the ready complete with stockings hung with care. And we have not one, but two beautiful trees in our family room with beautiful lights aglow. Sometimes it feels like I have stepped into one of the Hallmark Christmas movies I love so much! 

But what makes our home a Home for Christmas? It's not the cozy atmosphere or the abundance of holiday decor. Being home for Christmas is all about having joy in our hearts and a place to feel love for each other. So is our home a Home for Christmas? Not always....

While the tree decorating was commencing I always try to hold myself together. I want to keep the peace and have a joyful time. But the OCD mom in me always seems to kick in. For example, we had unpacked the Christmas "toys" for the kiddos to play with (old McDonald's Christmas toys from my childhood, the little people train, the finger puppet Nativity set). The first thing they did was dump them on the floor in the middle of the main walkway. When I asked them to pick up the toys and perhaps take it to their rooms to play with so we could get the rest of the Christmas items up I was met with no response and obvious ignoring from them. So I made myself a little louder to still have no response. So the "Scary Mommy" came out and the Christmas toys were sent downstairs to the basement for the rest of the evening. 

Next my husband and  I were unpacking totes and I found that my favorite tree skirt that we bought for our first year married had been a mouse's snack last winter. There were holes throughout the whole thing as well as droppings in the box covering everything. GROSS! I was so caught up in my own feelings I took it out on Chad who wasn't getting it outside quick enough. Again... stealing the joy of the moment. 

Luckily I recognized this and quickly changed my attitude. I sent my family off to pick up a carryout pizza for dinner and sat to collect myself. I told myself this can either be a stress-filled Christmas with me demanding it to be Hallmark movie perfect or it can be a loving Christmas where the focus is on the Ultimate example of love... Jesus! So I decided to choose Jesus, not just this Christmas, but every day of the year. He is what makes my home filled with love and laughter. He is what I want my guests to feel when they enter. He is what our holidays should be centered around. 

Will you let Jesus into your Home for the Holidays? (and perhaps forever....) 

Election 2016: My Point of View

Yesterday I am proud to say I went to the polls and cast my vote for president. I am proud of the fact that I had the right and responsibility to do so. As I got into my car after submitting my ballot I breathed a sigh (not of relief) but just took a moment to collect my thoughts. As I took a moment I sat to breathe in the presence of God. I had asked him to help me in making my decision and He did just that. 
What a privilege to be able to voice my opinion and make it count. However I was still disturbed and unsettled that I couldn't get behind a single presidential candidate whole-heartedly. It was a decision that I could stand behind because I had put so much thought and energy into it this election. I have never been one to like politics - but I couldn't get enough of this election (at least until the last month of so when it totally went out of control). 

As my husband and I sat and watched the numbers on election night I was hopeful yet my heart was broken, not because of who was and wasn't winning, but because the United States looked broken. We are so divided (not United)! My heart was also very saddened by the tone of the media.... they weren't reporting the results --- they were throwing in their opinions and bias. It all felt so negative and disheartening. Shouldn't they be more positive???? Around 11:00 I decided to call it a night and went to sleep (after taking melatonin and a Benedryl). 

This morning I woke up to the sun shining beautifully in the sky and was reminded that God, creator of the universe, was still in control. My heart began to feel joyful again! Then I made the mistake of getting on Facebook....... what a cesspool of negative energy. People that I consider friends were using language that wasn't kind or civil. It was a very gloom and doom situation. So what did I do?? I started to pray. I prayed for our country. I prayed for my friends. I prayed for all of the candidates on all sides of the aisle this morning. I prayed for unification and love to prevail. Then I heard the pitter patter of little feet.....and my children came into the room. So innocent and naive to the brokenness in our world. Oblivious of all that was going on in their own country. They were just happy to be alive at home with their family. God gave me a sense of joy and peace yet again. 

My boss, Jill Savage, posted a great article that no matter what side of the aisle you are on it made sense....Please take time to read it. http://www.jillsavage.org/the-one-question-you-must-ask-yourself-today/  She asked the one question you must ask yourself today and everyday. Instead of asking yourself "How are you today?" ask "WHO are you today?" She gave some examples of what she hopes answers were.

 “I measured my words and resisted needless arguments on Facebook.”

“I was kind, no matter how those around me were acting.”

“I was grace-giving and allowed others to have different opinions. If it was appropriate to share thoughts and opinions, I did it in a respectful way.”

“I was loving to even the most unkind person I came in contact with.”

“I was a prayer warrior. One who absolutely believes that God is still in control.”

So I asked myself the same question... WHO AM I TODAY? So what can I do as a mom, a wife, a daughter, and a friend?? Here is what God laid on my heart throughout my pondering and praying today. 

• I can be a light in the darkness. This world is a dark place right now. No matter what happened in this election we know the world isn't in a good state right now. We have evil in the world like ISIS, a divided country, hatred pouring in..... But God calls us to be salt and light. He calls us to LOVE each other even through disagreements. We can have different opinions but we are all God's children and he loves us all.

• I can be an example for my children. They are watching constantly and it amazes me how much they try to emulate what I say and do. So I need to be an example of love for my neighbor. I can agree to disagree peacefully. I can be intolerant to hate. 
• Yesterday we talked about why I voted. I was a good citizen and used my right and responsibility to vote for my candidates. I hope they understand how important that is and that they will continue to exercise their privilege to be counted in the vote. 

• I can love my country. My son who is 4 years old and in his second year of Pre-K can say the pledge word for word because he was taught at school. We continue to support him learning the pledge and songs like "The National Anthem." We want our kids to be proud of the United States of America. 

• Last but not least I can be a prayer warrior. The most important thing we can do for our country is pray. Prayers for unity, prayers for peace, prayers for solutions, and prayers for each other are what should be in our daily prayers. We need to pray for Mr. Trump as he gets ready to take on this new position. We need to pray for our other leaders within our government. We need to pray that we become the UNITED States of America again!

How fast can you (should you) go?? Allowing God's pace in your life!

It was that dreaded statement from the backseat from my 3 year old daughter..... "Mommy I have to go POTTY NOW!!!" I looked around and we were nowhere near a place to pull over. We live in the country and of course in the middle of nowhere for at least 5 minutes. Tears started streaming from my perfectionist daughter who NEVER wants to have an accident. I told her there was nowhere to pull over but she would make it. She said "Are you going as fast as you can?" to which I answered, "No, but I am going as fast as I should." (After this exchange we had a conversation about police and speeding in preschool lingo!) 

As we got into town and I was absolutely relieved to see the Walmart sign we had to stop at the only stoplight preventing us from getting to the bathroom any quicker. While at the stop sign I began to think about God and His plan.....(I love when that still, small voice begins to talk at the strangest of locations)

How many times do we just want to get there as fast as we can? In the middle of the night when we are pacing incessantly with a screaming infant we want to fast forward to the stage where they sleep through the night (and so do we). When your toddler throws them self down in the middle of Kroger because you aren't getting them Oreos.... we want to skip ahead to the age where we can rationalize with them and talk through why they aren't getting their way (or at least skip to the end of the tantrum so we are not the center of attention of all of the eyes in the store). When we are driving carpool for the 5th time today to a variety of activities for the kids.....we want to skip ahead to the high school years when they are more self-sufficient and can drive themselves to their own activities. 

Perhaps it's not about going fast with the kids... perhaps we want to fast forward ahead to when the mortgage is paid off, when we can travel with our spouse, or when we can slow down and just have "us" time again! Maybe we just can't wait until the day we can retire from our job.... and the list goes on and on of what we may want to fast forward to or at least get to faster than the pace we are going at now. 

But God has a plan for us. He paces us according to what He knows we can handle as well as pacing us so we can learn from Him along the way. He doesn't always make it easy to want to remain in the present. But He does want us to lean on Him and trust Him in everything. "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight. ~ 
Proverbs 3:5-6New International Version (NIV)
God promises good things for us if we have faith in Him. He tells us time and time again... 

"Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see." ~ Hebrews 11:1New International Version (NIV)

In John Piper’s message, “Battling the Unbelief of Impatience.” he says this....

"The opposite of impatience is a deepening, sweetening willingness to stand in the place that God has appointed or to move at the pace that God has appointed… to stand in God’s place or go at his pace."

Boy does that hit home for me!! Recently I have begun to pray that I will remove myself from God's place and trust that He has it all under control. As a control freak that is extremely hard for me. But it is something that God and I are working on and He is growing in me!  I challenge you to look at your heart's desires for the journey before you. Are there areas in your life you are trying to fast forward? Or will you move at God's pace? 

“For God alone, O my soul, wait in silence, for my hope is from him” (Psalm 62:5)

*Note: Lucy made it to the bathroom and was happy that she could maintain her record! 

Sometimes God needs US to move!

For as long as I can remember I have been a "church-goer." In my earlier years every Sunday morning my parents would get me up, put on my Sunday dress of choice, tights, and mary jane shoes and off we would go. I was involved in Sunday School, Cherub Choir, and the Christmas play while my mom was involved in almost every committee the church had to offer. My dad was a Trustee. We were very involved -- even from my earliest memories I remember being very involved at church.
When I got a little older (Jr. High/High School age) I went to church because I was very involved in our youth group. They were my social scene outside of school - my best friends in fact! I sang in the youth praise band, went on almost every mission trip, served at the local soup kitchen, and went to every form of high school youth group game night imaginable! Still highly involved.......
Between my junior/senior year of high school my mom passed away and it was harder to be involved in youth group. Everyone else's parents were so involved. They all seemed happy and normal. I felt like the odd duck out even though it was only that way because of my perception. My home church friends and youth group reminded me of life before when I had a mother that was alive. Life for me had changed dramatically and theirs stayed the same. So I began to make friends with other kids in my high school outside of my youth group. We went to Christian concerts together, etc. I had friends now that weren't highly involved in church (until now) and I was able to witness to them in a new and different way. God had moved me from my comfort zone and used it to stretch me in my being able to have new friends and being able to share His word.
When I moved to college I was very rebellious my first semester. I was finally free of the Sunday morning alarm clock---- I could sleep in and make my own choices. I was involved in Christian Campus House which was a student ministry group. I got involved in a small group there as well as plugged into several ministry opportunities. However going on a Wednesday night was different than going on Sunday morning. I usually chose to skip church on Sunday mornings...... I wanted to make my own rules and sleeping in was amazing! Things didn't change much when I returned home from college. I typically didn't go to church with my Dad and new stepmom because I was able to not go. I wasn't comfortable at my home church.... It wasn't meeting me where I was at spiritually. To me it didn't get to the deep places I wanted to go with Jesus... it stayed at the surface. I didn't feel like I was "plugged in" anymore. A friend of mine urged me to try out this new church in downtown Peoria. I really didn't know any other church outside of my own at home or at Christian Campus House. This was a move I wasn't sure I could make. One morning I decided it was time to try it. Through this move I made several new friends, got deeper in my relationship with Jesus, and began to realize who I was supposed to be in Christ. But I wasn't plugged in other than attending Sunday morning services and the twenty somethings group on Sunday nights. This frustrated me so I ended up returning to my home church because it was comfortable.... I had been plugged in before so why not plug in again?! I tried to plug in through the worship team and that was a way I felt involved and part of the church family again! I was also asked to use my love of theater to direct a few of the dramas presented at various times throughout the year. Things were going great! Then life changed again..... I met my husband (at my home church shortly after I had come back) and after a year and a half of dating we got married and moved an hour and a half away. Once we settled into our new home and jobs we decided we should try to go "Church Shopping." I hated the whole experience. I expected to feel "at home" or "connected" right away at a church. After trying out several different churches and not feeling connected with any of them I just quit. Even after we adopted Jack and had Lucy I really wanted to plug into church and tried to go back to a few churches but never attached to any of them. I relied strictly on Bible Study with a group of friends. In Oct. 2014 we moved back home into our current (forever) home and made a decision that we had to make a church work. Both Chad and I had wanted to make sure church was an important part of our children's lives. I was feeling like a failure as a mom because my kids didn't have a church home. They didn't have a church family to help them grow. So I decided we had to plug in this time.....so we went back to my home church! For the first few months I didn't get involved and started to make excuses on Sunday mornings. We still weren't going to church. Chad would take the kids and go but for some reason I came up with every excuse in the book. It wasn't like me at all! FINALLY I decided it was up to me to get plugged in. God was providing many opportunities but I had to make the move to plug into them. So Chad and I joined a small group. The group consisted of 5 other couples who all had small children like us and not very many adult friends. God had answered our prayers for friends!!!! Now they are our best friends and we love doing life with them!
All of a sudden I felt like this church felt like home and we had a place to grow! Shortly after I joined the worship team and started singing again. This pushed me to get to church on Sunday mornings. No more excuses!!! Then this past year I have been involved in the VBS leadership team, Awana children's ministry, Building Better Moms leadership team, and continued with small group. WE are finally plugged in! But God needed me to make that move even when it was scary and unknown. Not everyone needs to plug into church to make themselves go. And I wasn't trying to avoid church to avoid God. Acceptance and a sense of belonging is a huge thing for me and I wasn't just feeling it by being an attendee. For me I had to be involved. Throughout my times of not going to church I didn't feel any less connected to God and was consistently pursuing a deeper relationship with Him. However I was using so many excuses to not go to church -- and all of them were lies from the enemy. He didn't want me to go. He didn't want my kids to grow up in truth and love. He LOVED all of my excuses. Finally I decided it was up to me to MOVE and get involved! It's harder to come up with excuses when you are involved and need to be there. Fellowship with your church family provides an amazing connection with God that is indescribable. We push each other to be the best us we can be, we love each other in good times and bad, we help each other in our pursuit of God. Can we grow closer to God on our own... YES! But God designed us to grow together and to be the CHURCH! (Check out Acts) Do we attend church 100% of the time... Sadly no. 85% YES! WE are getting there. I still hear those excuses in my head .... "But you need to sleep in," "You are still a good Christian even if you don't go to church." ETC.... I need to silence the enemies lies and pursue God. God requires sacrifice which may mean sacrificing sleep, time to clean my house, etc. God wants us to choose HIM and requires us to MOVE out of our comfort zone and plug in! How is God calling you to MOVE? Does He want to stretch you and plug you into a new opportunity of ministry?

Up on a pedestal

For as long as I can remember I have been star struck by celebrities! Not just the celebrities from TV and movies.... but the celebrities that came to our school from the local news station or the lead singer from a local band at a festival. I have always held them in high regard and would find myself star struck when then came to speak to our class or would sing directly to me. Disclaimer: This is my first grade self that was star struck by these personalities. 

Even in my early 30's I am still occasionally star struck by various people such as TV stars, famous authors, etc. I can remember it like it was yesterday... It was 2013. After becoming a mom to 2 babies over the past year I could FINALLY go to the Hearts at Home conference in Bloomington, IL. I had waited a long time for this opportunity. Several of my friends and mentors over the years had attended and always gushed about how amazing the weekend was. It was definitely an opportunity I wanted to take advantage of. A weekend away from my screaming colicky 4 month old daughter, my extremely needy 16 month old son, and time to just be me again while I worshiped and learned about God. It had to be the best thing ever right?! 

The morning of the conference I woke up to my alarm at 5:45, showered, and started second guessing if I should go. However I talked myself back into it and hopped into the car with 3 other girlfriends. When we arrived in the theater for the morning main session I was amazed to see all of the women who were attending this event. I didn't realize it was this big! The first session began and it featured author and speaker Jill Savage who was talking on the topic of her new book No More Perfect Moms. As soon as she began speaking on this subject the tears were unleashed. The message was so freeing for this new mom who was striving to be perfect and was failing miserably (or at least felt like she was). Throughout the day I was blessed with several workshops by many talented and knowledgable speakers/authors. Each speaker was speaking directly to my heart and soul, leaving an imprint that would change my experience as a mom forever. All of a sudden I was surrounded by new "celebrities" who I was now star struck by. Then the last speaker for the afternoon session came out --Candace Cameron Bure (DJ Tanner from Full House). Talk about a celebrity who I was totally star struck by--- I grew up on Full House and wanted to be like DJ. Now here she was in front of me speaking about Jesus!!! What an amazing opportunity! After she was done speaking I bee lined out of the session early to get in line to meet her. And then it happened.... I MET HER!!!! I don't remember what I said but I'm sure it wasn't coherent.

Meeting Candace Cameron Bure!!!

 After the conference while I was reflecting on all of the pearls of wisdom I had taken in over the day I realized while Candace Cameron Bure was the biggest celebrity there she wasn't who had the biggest impact on me. Jill Savage who I was familiar with from her brief radio spots on WCIC became the person I was most "star struck" with that day. She was a mom like me who had been through it all it seemed like. She also realized that it was ok not to be perfect - exactly what I needed to hear that day. 

I attended Hearts at Home the next year and continued to grow my list of authors I would officially be a "fangirl" of. Dr. Kathy Koch, Sara Horn, Arlene Pellicane, Julie Barnhill, Dr. Juli Slattery, Kathi Lipp, etc just to name a few. The best part of these conferences were the opportunities to talk to them. The conversations weren't long but meaningful. Each of their stories and topics were meaningful to my life and we shared the most important thing in the world in common --- Jesus Christ was King of our lives. 

Arlene Pellicane and I - North Central 2015

Sara Horn and I - North Central 2015

Julie Barnhill and I - National 2016

Kathi Lipp and I - National 2016

Fast forward to February 2015 -- I had been looking at the job opportunities at Hearts at Home for several months in case of an opening that fit with my strengths. One day I decided to fill out the application and send my resume for the Director of Staffing Position. After finishing my master's degree in Educational Administration and being a stay at home mom for a few years now I was ready to dip my toes back into the workplace. This position was appox. 10 hours a week and that sounded perfect. I never in my wildest dreams imagined I would get the job!!!!! 

Talk about star struck....... I remember walking in the office for my interview ever so slightly looking around because at any moment Jill Savage may walk through (although she wasn't in the office that day). But on my first day Jill walked by my desk and said "I don't think I've met you yet... I'm Jill!" With a somewhat shaky voice I said "Hi I'm Emily and I KNOW who YOU are." I couldn't believe I was going to be working with Jill Savage - a woman who had spoken so much truth into my life. How was I going to deal with this kind of celebrity sighting on a daily basis?

Jill Savage and I at a HAH staff event

I had started working for Hearts at Home only a few weeks before their National conference. The day before leaving for conference I made my family some lemon cupcakes and posted the picture on Facebook. A few hours later Dr. Kathy Koch commented on how delicious they looked and she would like the recipe! Dr. Kathy Koch.... on my Facebook....up close and personal!!!! What was this?! I was freaking out like it was 1990 and the New Kids in the Block were in town. My husband definitely was laughing at how "fan girl" I was acting. 

Dr. Kathy Koch and I - National 2016

I was reflecting on all of this and asking myself "why do I get so giddy when I am around these people??" After pondering this question for a while I determined it was because of one reason.... the impact they made on my life has been a great one! Their truth has penetrated to deep places in my heart and their words have helped me change for the good. Someone who is open enough to deliver that message fearlessly like these women have are stamped with a "Celebrity status" in my world. They are changing the world one heart at a time through Jesus Christ's love and words. I admire the work they do and the way they do their work with such grace and love. 

Needless to say it has gotten more normal to work with Jill Savage. She is just a normal human being like the rest of us, but she has a divine purpose of writing and speaking. Dr. Kathy Koch is also human.....with an amazing gift of insight to our kids and the powerful gift of inspiring us to bring out the best in them. Do I still have an occasional fan girl moment? Yes. But I have come to realize the only person we should have on a pedestal is Jesus Christ! 

Can you imagine what kind of fan girl moment I will have when I get to meet Jesus in Heaven! He is the ultimate celebrity! The best part is we get to worship Him for eternity celebrating His awesome authority, power, and love. Jesus is someone the whole world will know someday... hopefully sooner than later. The best part is He knows my name and my heart better than any of my "celebrity" friends will! He came to die for me,  loves me regardless of my imperfections, and always has the time to listen to me. He is the PERFECT celebrity! Amen! 

Having a Pollyanna Perspective during Pumpkin Season

For the past month our family has been missing one element from it every day until late in the evening.... Chad! Chad is the head engineer at the Libby Pumpkin plant. This plant makes 80% of the pumpkin in the USA. This year they started 3 weeks early (July 28) and will try to go until the middle of November. This means that for 4 months, 7 days a week, 12-13 hours a day Chad will be at the plant. 
When I first heard about this job 2 years ago it was only a 2 1/2 month ordeal and even then I wasn't sure I liked the idea of Chad being gone every day for 2 1/2 months until 8pm at night. This year when they took on more pumpkin ground and more time I really wasn't sure at all...but we have to do what we have to do. Right?? 
So many people say "At least he has a job..." "He makes great money." Etc. Etc. Etc. While I am thankful for these things (and I truly am) I wonder constantly about the bigger picture. What are we sacrificing for the sake of America's pumpkin pies? 
We are only 4 weeks into this and Chad is exhausted. The kids miss their dad a lot and don't understand why he won't come home earlier. Chad and I are definitely not connecting as  couple because we are both too tired to do anything after the kids go to bed. We watch an episode of something on TV enjoying the quiet and then head to bed. 
While this isn't ideal I think of the sacrifices other families make when someone is in the military. They may be gone for months if not years - usually an undetermined amount of time. 
Or what about the single moms/dads that have to do all of this by themselves year round. These families are my new heroes. 
While I am trying to detour the negativity about our short term situation of Chad temporarily being gone for pumpkin seasons I have to remind myself that he is at least coming home every night. There will be a definitive end to pumpkin season. He also will be home for the holiday season which is so important to me. 
I am reminded during this seasons of themovie/book Pollyanna about the little orphan girl who moved in with her rich Aunt Polly. She brought a tired little town to life with good thoughts. She always found the good in everyone and in every situation. She even told the preacher who preached hell fire and brimstone that there were 826 "Glad texts" in the Bible. She had a different perspective on life and it spread like wildfire throughout the town. She played The Glad Game!

Sometimes we have to have a "Pollyanna Perspective" on life. We have to look for the good in every situation. There are so many good things that come out of this season of the year.....
I remember how capable I am to take care of the household, kids, etc all by myself. 
We appreciate the time when he IS home more than usual. 
I get more bonding time with the kids which I will someday miss. 
The list could go on and on.... Do I always remember these and am I always "Glad" about this season... no! There are days that are absolutely horrible. With 2 preschoolers things are hectic and there are days they just can't get along. Things don't always work out how I want and the house becomes a disaster waiting to explode. However I try to remember the good things going on in life and put on  my rose colored glasses if only for a while. 
As Abraham Lincoln said...

Do you have your "Pollyanna Perspectives" on?

This little light of mine....

This year was Jack and Lucy's first year at VBS! They were both finally old enough so every day for a week we loaded up the car and headed off to VBS to learn more about Jesus. I volunteered to head up decorations along with being a 3 year old class Shepard. We have 400 kiddos attend our VBS which is an awesome site in itself but this year I was in complete awe of how much my 3 and 4 year old absorbed. When the music began on the first morning Jack stood up and clapped (he's not much of a singer) and Lucy was bopping around to the music trying to sing along right away (she's my little Broadway star in the making). Some of the songs we learned this year was a modernized version of "This Little Light of Mine" and "I Have Decided to Follow Jesus." 

Lucy loved the music... Look at that smile!!!

Of course during the course of VBS I bought the music CD so we could continue the musical adventure in the car. The CD hasn't left my CD player because the kids love the music so much. During the week I had a chance to watch as my kiddos began to learn the message within these fun songs. Lucy had all of the words down by the end of the week but Jack still wasn't really singing them. 
Last week in the car while listening to the CD for the one millionth time I heard a new voice join in the singing.... it was Jack! He knew all of the words but he didn't want to sing until he was sure of them. Listening to both of my kids singing "I Have Decided to Follow Jesus" made my mommy heart melt and I had a mommy meltdown moment. Tears of joy were streaming down my face as we were driving to our destination for the day. 
It is obvious these days that the kids are picking up so many things from Chad and I. Sometimes they just come out of nowhere. Some of the things they are picking up aren't our best traits. Lucy is picking up some habits from me that I wish she wouldn't have. She is extremely stubborn and strong-willed which while it could be a good thing, it doesn't always manifest as a good thing. Jack has a short fuse like me as well... getting angry easily. However they are picking up good things as well! Lucy has such a good heart and has a heart for people. She gets so excited about building relationships with people. She also loves singing and dancing which makes me so excited about possibly doing theater with her someday. Jack is very compassionate for things - he is so tender with his stuffed animals. He also has such a large imagination and isn't afraid to be creative.  
As I was driving and crying I began to think about our legacies. I am glad they are picking up good traits from us but the number one thing I hope to instill in both kids is a love for Jesus that surpasses all other things. I want them to have a relationship with Him that is so deep and evident.  
When I thought about Jack just starting to sing the words when he was sure of them it made me think that maybe that is how it will be about his relationship with Jesus. It may not be something that is immediate but something that he will have to become sure about. Even though I hope it is soon as possible maybe it is something that will need to take time. That way when he does choose to follow Jesus it will be a lifelong commitment. That is what I have prayed for since the day he was born....and will continue to do so until he chooses Jesus for himself! 

Meet our family!

Hello friends! Welcome to the Twice as Blessed Nest! We are a family of four from the Midwest who enjoys all that life has to offer! Before we begin I would like to share Chad and my story to show you how we got from infertility to being twice as blessed within a year! 

Chad and I met in 2007 at church. I was finally and for the first time in my life content with being single so God decided it was finally time to introduce me to the man I would spend my life with. Chad came to our church because his church of 20 people had no other young people other than his siblings. He was getting anxious to meet someone so he decided to check out our church --- and ended up sitting right behind me. During the greeting time I turned around and was surprised to see someone around my age that I didn't know. However I was bound and determined that I was going to be single for this season so I began to think of how I could set up this cute guy with my best friend... They were both tall and single so why not?! However I couldn't this thought out of the back of my head --- boy he was cute! What if.....
Chad continued to come to our church and sat with me since he now "knew" me and we began to go out to lunch afterwards. Eventually we started dating officially and the rest is history. We never had the ideal dating situation as he was working 2nd shift when we met and then moved to Michigan for a year after that. 

Our wedding day - July 25, 2009

We got married on a beautiful day in July 2009. We honeymooned in Jamaica and returned home to Chad's job changing to 3rd shift. So much for newlyweds getting used to sleeping in the same bed...


Over a year later Chad got back on 1st shift and we decided to start trying for a family. After a year and a half of trying I went on infertility medicine for 6 months which made me horribly sick. The doctor and I decided to wait for a while because IVF wasn't for us yet. We looked into adoption during the summer of 2011 and decided to get put on a list and adoption website! 

On January 22, 2012 we got a phone call during lunch after church saying there was a family that had a baby boy who was 2 days old and they had chosen us to be his parents!!! We were so excited that God had finally given us a child. So we quickly packed up the car and headed to Memphis, TN where we met our son Jack who was only 3 days old. 

Picking up Jack from Tennessee

Life as we knew it changed dramatically as it often does when children come into the picture. I quit my Special Education teaching position and became a stay at home mom. 3 months after Jack came home Chad had to work the CAT strike over 2 hours away so he was gone a lot. However the stress of not being able to have a baby and work was gone so life as we knew it was beautiful! 

One day I wasn't feeling good and thought I was coming down with the flu. Days later I still didn't feel quite right so for fun I got a pregnancy test. I took the test and unpacked groceries while waiting (I wasn't worried at all - they always turned negative). When I glanced over at the test it read POSITIVE! I didn't know what to think. Then I looked down at the sleeping baby in the swing... and I laughed. God had quite the sense of humor. We had asked him to give us a baby if it was His will. Apparently His will was 2 babies within a year! One was adopted and the other was through pregnancy. 

Pregnant....

....and Blessed!

Pregnancy with 24-7 nausea and low blood sugar is tough enough, but add a 3 month old baby you are learning to parent is extra tough. But I learned how to ask for help and somehow we managed to get through pregnancy. On January 4, 2013 Lucy was born on my 30th birthday. (I had always wanted to have kids by the time I was 30... so God definitely made sure it happened even when I was positive that it was impossible.) 

She's Here!

Lucy is born January 2013 and we are a family of 4!

We became a family of four and have felt beyond blessed. Have we loved every moment... no! Life isn't perfect and there are imperfect moments. Would we trade this life for another? No! We love our life through the ups and downs. Join us on our imperfect, roller coaster of a ride life! God Bless!